The baby registry sounds like a fun afternoon. And it is — until you're forty-five minutes deep into a stroller comparison and somehow more confused than when you started.

This week: how to build your registry like an operator — what to prioritize, what to skip, and the hack most people never use.

And I'm going to tell you what my husband said when I spiraled at 35 weeks about the fact that we have nothing set up for our second baby.

He was right. And it reframed everything.

Most people build their registry the same way they'd approach any online shopping.

Google "best strollers 2026." Read seventeen contradictory reviews. Find a list that somehow recommends every stroller — and you're back at square one. After an hour of deliberation, add one. Repeat for the next forty items.

Here's the framework for doing it differently.

The stroller. The carrier. The monitor. The high chair. These are the items you need, but the price tag adds up. They are the exact items the registry was designed for. Add them without apology.

The traps?

The baby product market is engineered to make parents feel like they need specialized equipment for every scenario. Wipe warmers. Diaper cream applicators. Bottle warmers.

You will regret someone spending $50 on a bottle warmer instead of several packs of disposable changing pads. One sits in a cabinet. The other is the essential to your day.

Your baby will have opinions. Strong ones. About pacifiers, swaddles, bottles, and diapers. You will not know what those opinions are until they arrive.

The classic mistake is stocking up on one brand before birth and discovering the baby rejects it entirely. Maybe you did the research, found the highest-rated pacifier on the market, and your baby wants nothing to do with it. It happens constantly.

The strategy: register for one or two of several different options. Find out what your baby likes. Then stock up — ideally with your completion discount (more on that in a moment).

This is where your registry should be dense. Not the gadgets — the consumables and the multiples.

The items most people dramatically underestimate:

Here's the move: register for these, let people buy some, and use your completion discount for the rest. Most major platforms — Amazon, Babylist, Target — offer 10-15% off remaining items around your due date.

And the registry hack almost nobody uses: add your postpartum recovery supplies and mark them private. Peri bottle. Postpartum pads. Nipple cream. Sitz bath. Nursing pads. Nobody sees them, nobody buys them, but they're eligible for your completion discount when you're ready to purchase.

Baby clothes are irresistible. They are also one of the most common registry mistakes.

Three rules:

Minimize newborn sizes. Most babies wear this size for two to four weeks. Some skip it entirely. Register for a small quantity and let people gift you the adorable stuff — just in bigger sizes.

Prioritize function over cute. Two-way zippers over snaps. Snaps over buttons. At 3am you are not admiring the embroidery. You are trying to get back to sleep.

Don't speculate on seasons. You cannot predict your baby's growth rate. Do not register for a 6-month snowsuit in spring. The baby who was supposed to wear it in January may be in 12-month sizes by October.

The clothes will come regardless — people love buying them. Let them. Just make sure the rest of your registry is stocked with the things they won't think to buy on their own.

This is the most liberating reframe in new parenthood: you do not need to have everything ready before the baby comes.

The fear of being caught unprepared is largely a relic of a previous era. You can order almost anything and have it tomorrow. Register for the essentials. Buy what you know you'll need. Let everything else wait until your specific baby arrives and tells you what they actually want.

Your baby will tell you. They always do.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my second baby, but you wouldn't know it looking at my house.

No nursery. No bassinet set up. No newborn diapers.

Last week I finally said to my husband: we've done nothing. Should we at least get the bassinet out?

He looked at me and said: only if you want something to trip over in the middle of the night.

And he was right.

The bassinet sat right next to my side of the bed with our daughter. I set it up six months ahead of time and waddled into it every time I got up to pee.

I carefully set up a changing pad on her dresser with plenty of diapers and wipes.

My whole house became a changing station and I wished I had spent more time setting up for the realities of a newborn — which is that everything happens everywhere, all the time.

That doesn't mean everyone should do zero prep and let it be a free-for-all.

But I had been quietly carrying guilt about not replicating the preparation I did for my first baby. And I failed to recognize something important: this time I have a toddler, a dog in cancer treatment, a full-time job, a busy husband, and a high-risk pregnancy.

So if the nursery doesn’t get done, that’s not really going to change our first day home.

The things that actually matter — the car seat, the pediatrician, a plan for insurance enrollment — those are handled.

I have less set up today than I did before my first baby. But I’m more prepared.

Three things worth your attention this week.

1. Get your car seat installed and inspected before your due date.
This is the one thing you absolutely need to even leave the hospital with your baby. Pro tip: Have a CPST check yours for free. Find one by entering your zip code at nhtsa.gov.

2. The registry essentials, actually vetted.
Get the basic items worth registering for without hours and hours of research.

3. Send this to a pregnant friend.
If you know a first-time parent in the middle of registry overwhelm, send this their way. They can subscribe at motherhoodbrief.beehiiv.com.

Getting the controllables right doesn’t save you from the hard parts.
It just means you’re not drowning in the parts that didn’t have to be hard.

— Diana

The Motherhood Brief — the parts of motherhood you can actually control. Published every Tuesday.

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